Seatbelts And Sippy Cups

national anthem lyrics gone wrong

2012-02-12T19:08:00.000-08:00

day trip

2012-01-29T17:19:00.000-08:00

on saturday we hopped over the border and went to a zoo in south carolina.

caroline could spend all the live long day reading her animal books so we were especially excited to take her.

i still laugh at hallie's first trip to the zoo...yay for archives!

this post is caroline heavy but while the camera was out i was pretty focused on capturing her expressions.

i am a sucker for pictures of the girls lined up like this.

my favorite mommy moments are when the kids do something that has nothing to do with me. totally unprompted, hallie was showing caroline a baby gorilla statue.

totally unprompted, she kissed her.

ARTificial

2012-01-17T18:39:00.000-08:00

i've been finding uses for several reams of wallpaper that the previous homeowners left behind.

sometimes this blog gives the impression that our days are peaceful and the house is clean. with kids that play together with nary a fight. the top pictures are sweet...they look quiet and creative. however, the pictures below tell the real story. they are way more authentic. more often than not we live in a loud battle ground. our house is messy, sharing is really hard and hearts (including mine) need lots of work.

game time

2012-01-14T16:18:00.000-08:00

it's a fun time to be a bronco fan. one hour till another game of the most exciting season i can remember! go tebow!!!

pictureless

2012-01-12T18:19:00.000-08:00

i've been blogging for 5 years and have recently started a project to turn this blog into a book so we have a hardcopy to look back on. as i have been editing it i have loved looking back on memories i have totally forgotten. in fact, most of my "editing" looks more like me crying while rereading birth stories and baby milestones.

at any rate, this blog is a blessing to my poor memory and i love that we have a record of little and big moments. i've got to do a better job updating so that my girl's future husbands miss nothing when i make them read the 250 page account of our baby days.

with that said, life has been busy yet the camera hasn't been out since christmas. that is definitely a record. in place of pictures, here are some quotes/conversations i don't want to forget.

KINSLEY: tonight after she read to me (i am still in awe that my girl is reading...who knew a mom could be so proud) she got silly and was showing off her belly. she then said that she loves the baby in her belly. we've never talked about the birds and the bees so i innocently questioned her ideas. she basically explained that she believes all girls are born with tiny grape size babies in their tummies and the babies get bigger and bigger until the mom is ready to have them. she mentioned that caroline also has a tiny baby in her tummy.  this would have been a perfect opportunity for me to tell her the basic details. would have been perfect...

HALLIE:
hallie: "mom, we say pizza 3 times in that song."
me: "what song, hal?"
hallie: "the christmas pizza song."
"re-pizza sounding joy"
"re-pizza sounding joy"
try...just try to sing that song from now on without inserting that word. funny girl.

in more hallie news, i never would have imagined we would be having self-esteem issues due to hair at the age of 3. let me begin by saying that hallie has beautiful hair. she was blessed with tendrils that the north carolina air make sensational.

however, she hates it. it's not so much the curls as it is the length. she believes they rob her of having long hair. most mornings her strategy is to stand on tippy toes while looking over the counter as she wets the brush and slicks back her hair. she thinks it makes her hair look long and straight. she can't see that it is still curling up in the back. picture slicked back sides/top with a curly/puffy back.

the other night she called me with a quivering voice and tears lining her cheeks.   "mommy my hair won't go flat. i want flat hair like you and kinsley. please help me make it long."

it's hard seeing my child struggle with something, even something as shallow as hair.  however it's opened the door to conversations about her identity in jesus not in her appearance. we've been talking about her heart not her hair. i think it's sinking in because today i overheard her tell kinsley god created her face in the shape of a rectangle. a strange step in the right direction.

CAROLINE: last week i had to take her to the doctor to get a booster shot for the flu vaccine. when we entered the room she immediately remembered she wanted nothing to do with the place. she buried her face in my shoulder, her body hugged my chest and her fingers gripped my arms. within seconds, way before the shot, in a sad voice she started repeating, "owwww, owwww, owwww."

it was so so sad to hear her scared little voice. what an incredible memory she has.

BEN: just for fun:
ben: "where do we keep the frying pans?"
(we've lived here 6 months)

Christmas 2011

2012-01-01T14:00:00.000-08:00

part one: christmas in charlotte. where the grass is still green.

belly laughs. contagious belly laughs at the sight of falling bricks.

they all crowded around to discover all the details of the ballerina jewelry box.

part two: colorado: we definitely got our snow fix.

the day of a huge snowstorm we took a santa train up pikes peak. santa rode with us, sang carols, read stories, and visited with each child.

part three: my best friends, ben's best friends, our kid's best friends. it was a short night but a sweet night.

part four: christmas eve. two of the three look less than pleased but caroline was sick all trip and this is one of the few shots i see her sparkle.

nevermind. she is a feisty one.

part five: christmas

hallie and caroline were up all night puking. this is how the baby spent her christmas morning.

sarah, lane and baby brennan stayed all week with us. we got lots of playtime with the happiest baby ever. ever.

ford trying to look real tough. hallie looking a bit like cindy lou who.

even after getting dressed the baby looks a little out of it. bless her heart. to top it off there are sharp molars breaking through. poor thing.

makena and kinsley. kinsley and makena. peas and carrots.

uncle lane (army ranger) leading the girls in some seriously good cheers.

one last ~~failed~~ attempt at a cousins shot.

i can't even describe the stress involved with flying with ~~caroline~~ the kids. guess who were amazing?

the baby didn't sleep on the 3 hour flight but crashed on the 37 minute flight. she slithered out of my arms and found comfort by my feet.

we already miss everyone in colorado. it was less than a week but a full trip. it was also fun coming back home and having it actually feel like home. and, it's not too shabby taking a family bike ride yesterday on the last day of december in the perfect north carolina temps.

kids live here

2011-12-17T06:21:00.000-08:00

maybe there will be a day when the house will be decorated in a way that doesn't have an elf hanging from the ceiling fan or a floor covered in glitter. when there's not frosting on the table and snow globe music in the background. when there's no sticky candy cane fingers to wipe and santa letters to write.

but someday i will miss all those things.

i embrace the home that shouts out the season we are in: kids. young, busy, messy, active kids.

one of my favorite christmas decorations is the story of our family's growth evidenced by our annual card.

top of the tree:

full view. the bottom portion is obviously compliments of caroline. ben wants to put chicken wire around it. she takes ornaments down like it's her job. she's a girl on a mission when she spots one in her range.

our fireplace wouldn't be the same without a box of christmas books and the kid's nativity.

guess what present i am most excited to open?

guess what christmas decoration is my favorite?

a little tree to spotlight all the handmade ornaments.

and my favorite decoration. (this is not staged) the littlest climbs on the table at. all. times.

until i can get some chicken wire for the table, this strategy will have to suffice:

before bed

2011-12-06T18:26:00.000-08:00

my favorites: snow globe music, BOOM, the necessity to wear a tiara when dancing, doubling up on jammies, exiting to put on dance slippers, reentering and tossing the tiara

(ashley: this is what they were up to during our quick phone chat)

what is missing?

2011-12-02T05:57:00.000-08:00

a big congrats to kinsley for losing her first tooth! i did not realize what a BIG milestone this would be in her eyes.

it amazes me that these kindergartners track each other's mouths so closely. she can rattle off who is missing teeth, what particular teeth are missing and who has a wiggly one.

a thanksgiving miracle

2011-11-26T09:56:00.000-08:00

on the shallowest of levels, i am thankful for two things. a double oven and avoiding a thanksgiving disaster. the double oven is self-explanatory. let me explain the near catastrophe.

i blame pinterest. and the nester.

i had seen beautiful ways to decorate and make centerpieces using nature. about a week ago the girls and i set off with large yellow buckets and walked around a park near our house collecting hundreds of pretty acorns.

i filled tall cylindrical vaces with them and balanced candles on top.

the adult table looked stunning and i was proud of my frugality.

a day before thanksgiving i was putting out the silverware and noticed a couple *maggots* on the table. what the?! i exited the scene and called in ben to deal with them. he scooped them away and left. when i reentered i saw a couple more on the floor. what the?! ben did his thing.

you probably know where this is going.

we looked into my assortment of beautiful vases and saw HUNDREDS OF MAGGOTS HATCHING OUT OF THE ACORNS. big plump maggots.

the room was quarantined and cleaned.

thanksgiving was saved.

hallelujah we noticed before sitting down with our friends for our feast.

the best part is that i hadn't told a soul and later that day i got a flower delivery from my mom. she sent me a new centerpiece. love her!

on the kid table, the girls and i made a thankful tree. we wrote things we are thankful for on the leaves.

it was our first turkey and the first time ben used a carving knife we got at our wedding. it has been in a box for 9 years.

the kids. they are getting to be really good friends.

this is my friend kim. long story short, they moved here from ohio (into our neighborhood) at the same time as us. we bumped into each other at kinsley's school and stood outside for about 30 minutes wide eyed at all we have in common. she has been a godsend. it was so fun to spend this day with her.

a saturday

2011-11-13T09:19:00.000-08:00

we have been basking in perfect fall weather for about 3 straight months. this weekend we checked out a state park and fell in love with NC once again.

i have finally stopped taking automatic pictures and keep it on manual all the time. it's been a fun challenge.

however, far too many pictures look like this: it would be easier if it didn't involve math.

photogenic kids make any photographer look good.

ben's exact quote in a very defeated tone: "this is a path to nowhere."

back at home caroline was doing what she does best...pushing all boundaries. (she really was sturdier that she looks) (i was more focused on shutter speed than safety) (the ladder got put away right after this) (not my proudest moment)

in other caroline news, she graduated to a big girl carseat. it was not installed for 3 days and she INSISTED on being buckled all the time. we would all be in another room and she would happily be buckled in all alone.

she loves to dance in the car. praise hands. (for the record, ben was driving)

a fun night to be a mom

2011-11-01T17:42:00.000-07:00

it was so fun and they were so cute. such a great night!

hallie showing some lovely hat-head.

grandma jane made the dorthy dress. completely darling.

these are some of my favorite sister pictures ever.

caroline is the reason we make friends wherever we go. such a goof!

oh, caroline.

hands behind the back wasn't my idea...kinsley stood that way and hallie is always mimicking her big sister.

caroline made it about 2 houses in the stroller.

then she "helped" push the stroller. (notice the pair of little feet)

then she ditched the stroller and waved to all the neighbors. she was such a hit.

baby girl, do you have any idea how much i love you??????

my little baking slave

2011-10-25T14:58:00.000-07:00

look who won 2nd place in a community bake off.

2:25

2011-10-20T18:35:00.000-07:00

it's the time kinsley hops off the bus. she hugs a couple older girls goodbye, pleads to play with ethan, invites neeshe and yohana over, then remembers her mom and sisters are standing there patiently waiting for some attention.

our routine is to delay play dates until we can catch up, have snack and read her daily cuddle book. kinsley reveals things she brought home one by one out of her backpack. i ask as many questions as i can until she begs for mercy.

my girl is growing up and it's hard not knowing the full picture. i feel like i am putting together a puzzle of her day. here are some of the pieces:

1. saying i am proud of her is an understatement. learning to read and write is amazing...especially if it is your own kid. i love her terms: she says she stretches the words out like a rubber band. she is proud...we are proud...it is a win-win.

2. ben takes her to school every morning. one day i had to bring her and did not expect it would take the vice principal, computer teacher and guidance counselor to peel her off me, screaming. that was a rough start to say the least. i was a nervous wreck to take her the next day but ben was out of town. enter the best idea ever (credit to ben): she took a picture of him and carried it to help her be brave. it totally worked and he remains zipped in her backpack for emotional emergencies.

3. she has been talking about the school store for weeks. one would not believe the amount of joy in that child when we let her bring some allowance to pick something out. she couldn't sleep the night before she was so excited. $1.50 later: a squishy bear keychain.

4. after talking about friends in her class she told me that joey takes medicine that makes his hair fall out. my heart sunk to the floor as i asked her to tell me more about him and learned my fear was true. absolutely heartbreaking. joey is in my thoughts so often. i don't know him or his story but he has impacted my heart. the journey with him may be one of the most important lessons kinsley, and i, may learn all year.

for the baby

2011-10-17T09:04:00.000-07:00

caroline elizabeth,
you, my sweet one year old, bring so much laughter to this home. i tell you all day long how funny you are. your noises, silly faces, mischievousness and character bring every single one of your family members smiles every single day. we are so thankful for you.

your sisters love to push you in their baby stroller. they whip you around the corners and you seem to thrive on adrenaline rushes.

you have an enormous smile. this picture doesn't do justice to how big it can get.

you chose not to flash your big smile on this trolly ride. longest trolly ride ever.

your favorite toy: connect four. putting the pieces down the slot is your hobby. i swear i have seen you try to make patterns.

it's just hallie and you when kinsley is at school.

one of my favorite recent pictures. i love the hands and little teeth.

you can find a number of body parts when i ask. i am partial to your tongue and belly button.

this is it. the face you make ALL THE TIME. when you are mad, happy or just deep in thought. you scrunch up your lips so your nostrils are covered. it is a gift not many can do. (readers....try it...can you block your nostrils with your lips?)

you ALWAYS want to be near or on me. i give it a couple weeks before you can shimmy up my leg.

i love my little walker.

this is another thing unique to my girl. when you are upset or frustrated you get in this position. that means you are in this position lots.

you prefer to be off the ground. you are pretty proficient at climbing on top of things that you should not be on top of.

sometimes, just sometimes you get new outfits that are not hand-me-downs.

you are a beautiful thing, miss caroline. thanks for making this year one of my favorites.

quotables

2011-10-07T12:51:00.000-07:00

"mommy, i really hope my boyfriend, curly jack, is at school today."

It's Just What I Do Ben

2011-09-26T19:43:00.000-07:00

I will never be able to thank Amy enough for the beautiful memories that she has captured and shared through her blog posts. The sad thing though, is that she rarely gets her own time in the limelight. An unfortunate result of being our very own world class photographer!

She never says so, but I have always known that this must bother her. My proof came when I stumbled across the 143 crazy self portraits that she has taken via her MacBook Photo Booth. She may kill me for sharing these, but it's time that Amy get her day in the sun...

I always wanted to be a twin.

Facetime anybody?

Now some might say that by moving her across the country, away from her family and friends, it is I that created this photo taking monster. However, as we sat on the living room floor tonight paging through her work, and I ridiculed her about the time she must waste on a daily basis with this hobby, she defended herself by stating the following..."It's just what i do Ben".

Amy my dear, please add this thing you do to the million others that I love about you.

~update~ this is what i get for going to bed before my husband. what a ~~pleasant~~ surprise to see myself, in bad lighting, with no makeup, in twin form staring right back at me. time for a new hobby.

one last time: this one's for you, ben.

baby and blog milestone

2011-09-17T07:10:00.000-07:00

caroline took her first steps on august 25th and she has been perfecting her talent since then. dare i say she is a walker?! not my tiny baby?!

but, yes, with my own mixed emotions, she has turned the corner from predominately crawling to walking. i have been taking video like a crazy person trying to bottle up her last crawling days and the adorable wobbly/unbalanced learning-how-to-walk days.

pictures just don't do justice to this milestone so i have spent far far too long trying to figure out how to get video from my phone to a computer to a blog.

more footage for those that are super invested. and, no, it doesn't bug me at all that the videos were uploaded in two different formats. good thing i haven't spent jaw-dropping amounts of time trying to figure out how to fix it.

oh, sweet child o'mine

2011-09-09T07:41:00.000-07:00

hallie ann is officially a preschooler.

she is 38 inches tall and 29 pounds.
and she goes to preschool.

for years her favorite colors have been orange and yellow.
and she spends 2 mornings a week at preschool.

she calls shirts "toppings" and dress/shirt straps "handles".
we all use those terms now.
she will wear these things to preschool.

she mixes up anything & nothing.
me: whatcha thinking about, hallie? her: anysing
her preschool teachers will probably correct this. i think it's too cute to correct.

home tour

2011-08-30T19:09:00.000-07:00

i rarely take pictures with my phone. i've had my phone about 6 months and can probably count on one hand the number of times i have used the camera function. which is why when i looked at the gallery the other day and noticed 527 photos i was a bit confused.

i had no idea i had a sneaky little photographer living with me.

well, i had some idea...the girls love them some angry birds and meddle with my phone to play. i have heard clicks from the camera but just didn't realize the mass amounts that had been taken. at least 10 shots of the same thing was commonplace.

as i scrolled through the hundreds i got a pretty good laugh at what kinsley thought warranted a photo. i realized she was able to achieve something i have wanted to do for awhile--show friends and family where we live.

however, to those who are stopping by to see fabulous photos of a clean home with non-green walls this is not the place for you.

someday, when the walls are no longer green; when the wallpaper is peeled off; when there are window treatments and rugs--i will post better pics. no breath holding.

the phone tour/home tour

(in no particular order...some date back to when we 1st moved in so i have an excuse for the boxes and mess....others are more recent and i have no excuse at all)

she captured our kitchen nook during a visit from ben's parents.

green.

the office...another work in progress.

my favorite room...i have big hopes for it and we are all drawn here.. One day kinsley offhandedly called the couch her "thinking couch" and the name stuck. we cuddle up there all the time to read, hang out, chat, interrogate.

i like how she lined up the books.

kinsley and hallie share a room.

green walls. green wallpaper.

this is excellence in parenting.

great vantage point.

this is directly across the street...her little friend lives there... much much back and forth all day long.

the girl's bathroom...i only include this because i love her reflection.

important members of the family...girls can't sleep without them.

a rare shot of me---thanks, kinsley--i love it!

bits of happy

2011-08-25T18:11:00.000-07:00

my girl. (she took her first steps tonight...ben and i both saw it happen) *smile*

facetime may be the best invention of all time. as of this week, we have become avid users and have talked to MN cousins, CO cousins, my sisters and my parents--all the way in mongolia. this afternoon the girls chatted with CO cousins. it is such a sweet way to stay close.

channeling bozo

2011-08-24T09:37:00.000-07:00

this was the least frightening picture of bozo i could find.

time. it flies.

2011-08-06T18:21:00.000-07:00

when i pulled hallie aside this morning to tell her that she was mere hours from being done with her paci forever i expected more backlash. maybe i even wanted it. i wanted her to recognize this milestone and how in a blink she will shift from little to big. she was totally fine with it and used words like; fun, good, i'm big. how can she be so nonchalant about this?

by all accounts we are YEARS overdue in this transition. i ignored. i delayed. i made excuses. she loves that darn paci and has not slept one night or taken one nap without it. ever.

but when i was reviewing my pics the other day and saw this one i knew it was time. my little gal looks ready.

so off we went to build-a-bear.

she picked out her new buddy.

she placed her paci inside and watched the salesgirl stitch it up.

so far so good. well done, hallie. well done.

in a nutshell

2011-08-03T19:07:00.000-07:00

inside this house you will find a little family of 5 trying to adjust to a new life in a new place. i feel like i have so much to say but no idea where to start. so many changes and so much to process.

our neighborhood: it is full of families. playsets are found in nearly every backyard. kids are running through our house constantly which has been my dream for years. i entice them to be here with cookies and more cookies. our doorbell is always ringing. it has been great. really great.

church search: after being part of Hillside (a church that rents space in a school) we strongly desired to find a church home with an actual building. that was pretty much a non-negotiable as we talked about specific things we were looking for in a new church.

and we've tried some services in actual buildings. with big permanent screens, stages, lights, etc. pretty much all the bells and whistles. we still may return but we have some question marks.

then this past week we visited a church in.......

a movie theater. and it felt like........home. we loved it. we need to find out more before we sign up for the set-up crew (i'm already tempted) but we are very excited about it.

we have another month before school starts. on one hand, i love it but on the other i yearn for a schedule.

in the meantime we will be seen in groups of 3:

or we will be chasing frogs

or taking pictures of the little critters

or watching the big kids play outside

or going to chuck e cheese for the first time. (chuck e cheese may want to invest in a 5 point harness for the clifford car...she seems slightly concerned about the safety value of this seatbelt)

or maybe time will fly as i watch this one practice her waves, clapping, and vocabulary. my heart melts with every smile, giggle and growl. it also has a tendency to melt when nothing noteworthy is even happening....just for the simplest fact that she is my baby.

greetings from charlotte

2011-07-16T11:16:00.000-07:00

we said our goodbyes.

we drove many miles to a house i had never been to. we lived in this house a week before the moving truck came. we had travel toys and a folding chair.

then on the hottest day in the history of north carolina, (or at least the hottest day of the week since we have lived here), the blessed moving truck came. as the boxes were delivered to the *playroom* the girls squealed and reminisced as i opened each one. then they went outside to play and left me with a baby and a mess. try to find the baby.

around the house

2011-06-28T20:02:00.000-07:00

deer are spotted in the yard almost everyday but thankfully this sight is rare. i looked up from my breakfast this morning and saw (in my dad's words) a big freaking bear. he had a great time going through the neighbors trash before wandering away.

a more typical sight is caroline being a little "helper." power on. power off. power on. power off.

this pic was taken when her help was still endearing. before my dad asked me to take her far far away.

this has been added to my mom's collection of awesome garage sale finds.

this has been added to one of my favorite garage sale finds ever. i have grand plans to rig it to the car seat to buy us some precious minutes on our upcoming 25 hour drive. i did it without dvd's. so can they.

i am totally and completely kidding about withholding god's greatest gift to traveling parents. we are preparing for a disney princess movie marathon.

full disclosure

2011-06-27T13:20:00.000-07:00

when this transition is said and done, i will mostly look back on the awesome time spent with my family. i've been taking pictures of nearly every memorable moment and interaction with the people we will miss. we have had a really amazing time with them. i've been studying the mountains and loving the weather.

however.

it has also been pretty darn difficult without having ben around. here is the ugly (and in hindsight, quite funny) truth of us being apart for 45 days.

mr. i hate facebook himself decided to begin a twitter account. here are some of my favorite tweets over the course of his absence.

Fact: it takes 24 hrs and 19 mins, 80 ozs of wild cherry pepsi, 12 reeses pb cups and 1 bag of funyuns to drive from denver to charlotte.

30 days in this hotel is going to feel like 300. Everyone here is on a first name basis and whistles at me when I walk by#ShawshankSuites

If drinking whiskey cokes on the Duke campus was on my bucket list, I'm happy to be able to cross it off.

Just leaving the office at 11:20 pm on a Friday. I thought this was a promotion.

U knw u've reached a level of greatness in life when u've had dinner at the Dragon Buffet 7 of 9 psble nights. I sneezed fried rice today.

I'd say that eating an entire box of Oreo Cakesters while watching Les Miserables qualifies as hitting my low point.

I'm just so tired of this stupid hotel. #enoughalready

and now for my walk of shame. here are some of my texts to ben:

may 17: if i survive this it will be a miracle. a miracle.

may 17: hard times here in CO

may 18: at urgent care with c. maybe swallowed a paperclip.

may 21: my nights are miserable. up since 2am. guess i got my standard 4 hrs.

may 22: its 4:30am. hi hallie. nice of you to join c and i.

may 25: come get us. we belong together.

may 30: it was bound to happen. i've hit my breaking point.

june 3: getting up at 5 yesterday was unacceptable. 4am just plain sux.

june 23: emotional and physical low.

i feel bad for ben when i reread through those. yikes. poor guy must have felt pretty helpless 2000 miles away. i suppose i tried so hard to have my game face on for the girls that i needed to release my troubles somewhere.

and, in an attempt to redeem myself a bit, he also received some texts like this:

june 24: really great day. C waves and says mama! H&K spending night w cousins. miss u!!!

we miss him and them already

2011-06-19T20:50:00.000-07:00

this was a weekend of goodbyes.

ben came to town for several days which was beyond wonderful. i didn't expect to be so emotional when i saw him but the tears were flowing. it had been a long long time. he was smitten over the girls and couldn't take his eyes off caroline. when she first saw him, she studied his face intensely and looked him over with her mouth half ajar. it didn't take long for her to show off all her tricks and feel completely comfortable. kinsley and hallie craved his attention. they only wanted him to buckle the car seats. him to sit by at meals. him to do bedtime. so on and so on. they were just so happy.

he is now on a plane headed back to charlotte. 10 days until he returns to bring us with him. it was a sad goodbye indeed.

we also got to bottle up some time with our friends. it was the last time we will see most of them. it is hard to even type those words. i cried the whole way home and said profound things like, "this is stupid." or "it's just sad."

i have been immeasurably blessed with amazing friends. i love their kids and thankful that their husbands have been perfect matches for my husband. these kinds of bonds can't be duplicated. sorry charlotte folks, you can't possibly hold a candle to our colorado peeps. stay tuned for pics of our girls trip to charlotte...coming fall 2011.

here are the babies that match the above picture:

caroline will miss her friends.

i love the way isla and caroline are chatting in this picture.

kinsley and hallie will miss their friends too.

kinsley asked if this was the last time she would ever see mason.

it was sad. no way around it. plain old sad.

poor dorthy

2011-06-10T19:43:00.000-07:00

i have always always known that ben goes above and beyond with the kids. he remembers things like mundane medical history facts and many many parenting duties have settled into his territory. things like bathing them, brushing teeth, clipping fingernails, applying sunscreen, distributing medicine. the list goes on and on. we are on day 28 without seeing him and it is safe to say i fully realize what a blessing he is.

we are trucking along and counting down until he comes to visit. i have not neglected their teeth and they don't cry anymore when i wash their hair. i clip their nails--but i don't make it nearly the comedic performance that ben does.

ben will be pleased to know that after a successful extraction, i can now take over the responsibility of splinter removal. however, dorthy's tank still has not been cleaned. that duty will forever remain his.

now for another picture of what caroline looks like without a nap:

happy as ever. the fussy and irritable one is on the other side of the camera.

and now for a shout out to my niece and nephews for jumping/flipping off the diving board!

and a shout out to my mom and dad. even though we have overstayed our welcome tenfold, they love us so unbelievably well.

cue neil diamond

2011-06-06T19:50:00.000-07:00

this is an amazing girl. pretty sure she has my heart.

with the biggest smile you ever did see.

she must taste everything she sees. i am constantly taking small things out of her grip. and i must check both hands for she tries to be sneaky hoping i will not notice. little stinker.

this is how she acts after a day without a nap. yep...still smiley and delightful. it's impossible to be frustrated with her.

she tugs on her ear all the time. doc says it is perfectly clear but it makes me wonder.

she wears a collection of clothes i wore as a baby that my grandma made.

she rides to the pond in a wagon like a big girl.

she has sisters that are up to no good when i put her to sleep at night. kinsley said she wanted chicken pox.

all is well

2011-05-29T20:39:00.000-07:00

we have made it through day 15 without ben. we miss him terribly and will be so glad when we are all together again...whenever that may be. life is not nearly as fun without him around. the girls thankfully are handling all this change well. in fact, better than i ever could have imagined.

they (we) love it here....in the place i grew up. my home has again become my home.

we keep busy (my mom is my calendar keeper and likes to make sure we get out and do things). i usually obey her and go on outings but i am a major homebody and never mind staying put.

caroline crawls everywhere, prefers to stand up and puts EVERYTHING in her mouth. i've never seen anything like it. even with all of us on "safety patrol" she still manages to find things to eat. here is a sample of some items swept from either her grip or inside of her mouth: small light bulb, twigs, rock, dime and a paperclip---which got her some x-rays at urgent care. the little babe has made my heart stop more than once.

sarah and baby brennan came to visit for several days. i fell for her when i got her all to myself after my kids went to bed. i was overcome with love love love.

cousin (2nd cousin) max came to play. i wish these pictures could capture the monstrous laughter coming from the kids and the spectators.

i love this...hallie's deep concentration. kinsley laughing in the background. and max--full of joy.

my dad joined us for a day at the denver aquarium. great day.

i grew up here. beginning in elementary school i met my friends at this pond everyday. we would climb trees, hunt for frogs/crawdads/salamanders and explore. the very things my own kids love to do there. just about everyday we have made the short walk down and the girls have had such fun.

it was magical

2011-05-15T21:16:00.000-07:00

we planned this trip in october 2010. at the time, we had no idea what god had in store for our family and that his plans included charlotte, north carolina. the timing of this trip was nothing short of divine. we did not choose any of the following dates and i smile at how perfectly it came together.

house closed on may 6th

left for disney may 8th

returned may 13th

ben left for charlotte may 14th

disney gave us a chance to celebrate making it through the past few months and most importantly gave us concentrated time together before we are separated for the next month.

before suitcases were unpacked, swimsuits were on and the fun began.

i had big expectations of disney and the details and charm did not disappoint. we walked onto many rides and even found ourselves grumbling when a wait entered the 25 minute mark. we were rather spoiled. no complaints.

how many moms ask their kids if they want a certain character's autograph then turn to their husband and ask the same question?

walking up the swiss family robinson treehouse. mental note to have a movie night. kinsley loved this place.

the jungle cruise is a classic. it was my favorite as a child and i LOVED watching the expressions of the girls.

hallie shed a couple tears on her first ride on pirates of the caribbean. after 3 times she was a pro and now sings, yo ho yo ho a pirates life for me.

near this little nook is a baby care center that i was able to escape to for nursing...hello air conditioning.

the curls drew comments from strangers and made my heart pitter pat. lovely lovely curls.

thank heavens she is not too big to do her classic crazy grin. she can't do it without clenching her fists and bringing them to her chest.

hallie has a bladder the size of a walnut. that is probably an exaggeration...it is more like a bean. this was a common scene. many many many trips to the potty.

cooling off in a sprinkler. can you see the joy?

caroline became a speedy little crawler on this trip. she also got two bottom teeth. she was an amazing travel companion.

i'm impressed with the form of these jumpers. (each square was a different instrument)

hallie has always had sensitive ears. this is how she watched the fireworks.

"it's a small world" gets a bad rep. we were going to skip it but when there was no wait how could we refuse. (however, ben sacrificially volunteered to wait with caroline while she napped so he missed out). surprisingly, it stands out as one of my favorite memories. riding on the boat hearing the girls point out all the sights was special and the details were amazing!

we realized we were snobby when we were waiting 30 minutes for peter pan and felt annoyed. at least it gave hallie time for a tiny nap. hello sweaty curls.

a million thanks to my wonderful in-laws! the attention and love they gave the girls was priceless.

tom was constantly carrying someone and was always on the lookout for characters/princesses/anything the girls would like. i loved listening to jane's conversations with the girls. they giggled and shared many sacred moments.

they also gave ben and i a chance to sneak away on several occasions. we went on rides together and also went out at night. by ourselves. it will be a long long time before that happens again and we relished every minute of our time. we played in the pool, soaked in the hot tub, and enjoyed late night dinners. thanks so much!

within these walls

2011-05-04T19:44:00.000-07:00

we lived on morning glory for seven years. before we had kids or even furniture. every one of our babies came home from the hospital to this place. milestones were reached and memories were made.

it seems like nearly every night for the last five years we would rock a little someone to sleep in this room. transfer her to a crib, sneak out the door, hear her wake up and start the process again. oh, the 100's of hours we have spent in this place.

this is the room where our two oldest girls giggled and built a friendship. where they would orchestrate elaborate plans to delay bedtime. it's the place they learned to work together, play together, and share together. lots of bedtime stories, working out problems and snuggling with mom and dad. one would be surprised that until the very last day they would play hide and seek in this room---and seem genuinely shocked to find one another despite the few options.

today kinsley and hallie went from room to room saying goodbye. they marked boxes with stickers so that they will be certain that the boxes that end up in north carolina are indeed our stuff.

we have been so thankful to have spent this time in this place. i sure am going to miss it.

this and that

2011-04-22T20:44:00.000-07:00

the moving truck arrives in 11 days. in the meantime we have been busy little bees.

for her birthday, hallie received a butterfly garden from her cousins. teeny tiny caterpillars arrived in the mail and grew into fuzzy crawlers which then hung from the lid and spun cocoons. next we will transfer them into a net and wait for butterflies to emerge. it has been very fascinating to watch them grow.

my sister also hooked us up with this fun activity. the kids made chia-pet like grassy hills to represent the hill of calvary. on easter morning we will open the lid to reveal the empty tomb. it has been pretty fun to watch the seeds grow.

i have been wanting to take pictures manually for a long time. i hope to eventually take a photography class but for now am relying on this awesome e-book i purchased. i just need my camera back from the darn shop.

kinsley and i had fun making a rainbow cake for her birthday party. can't believe the girl turned 5 today!! she won't stop growing...despite the promise she made 3 years ago to not get any bigger.

parenting 101: never allow your kids to start a sticker collection on the inside window of the car. it will last for many years then take the better part of a week to scrape off. thus, for their easter baskets i made them little sticker books by laminating pieces of tagboard. problem solved.

sweet caroline is happy to be eating real food. so far, she highly prefers yogurt and bananas over my batches of broccoli and sweet potatoes.

i couldn't resist posting this pic of hallie. with pigtails. yummy.

dedication day

2011-04-13T20:22:00.000-07:00

the day caroline was dedicated was special for so many reasons. let me count thy ways.
1. it was a sweet thing to dedicate her at hillside. a place we have called home since before we had kids and people we have loved since before we were married. with them, we have gone from young marrieds to expectant parents to rookie parents to still-trying-to-figure-this-whole-parenting-thing-out-3-kids-later parents.

2. it was an honor to share our heart and our prayers for caroline.
i shared this little story: ben was out of town the week before the dedication. when he returned, kinsley excitedly told him that we get to "raise caroline up" in church on sunday. it only took me a second to connect the dots and figure out how she came to that conclusion. i had an earlier conversation with her about the meaning of a dedication. i told her that we want to raise caroline up in a home that loves jesus. in a home that serves him with our whole hearts. that prays for each other and with each other. how very precious that she took it so literally.

3. my heart still warms up when i reflect on who was standing up with us. how amazing that my 3 best friends all had babies at the same time as me. we got to dedicate them together. something i will never forget.

girls--i love you more than you know. i remember everything you said about carter, isla and wyatt. thanks for the precious memory.

4. 2 little bonus memories from that day: it was awesome watching ben help lead worship for the last time. the church also surprised me with a sweet goodbye and video tribute for coordinating children's ministries.

a pic of our clan. these friendships---husband to husband---child to child---wife to wife will be deeply deeply deeply missed. (carter, kinsley and mason are apparently MIA) and yes, that would be 10 kids between us all.

3 Years!

2011-04-07T08:09:00.000-07:00

hallie ann,

today we celebrated you. you made my heart melt from the moment you woke up till the moment i tucked you in bed. i loved celebrating you!

your morning began early, when you discovered your room was full of balloons (your unchanging favorite colors....yellow and orange).

you whispered to me, "i turned 3 last night, mommy!"

first thing, you got to open your presents from grandma jane and gramps. as always, i read aloud the "mushy" letter grandma jane wrote and have stored it with all the others. you opened books, a movie, a dress and a super fun lego set.

i told you about the day you were born and we looked at your scrapbook.

papa made you his specialty...yummy platter for your birthday breakfast. extra syrup.

the 5 of us went to the park and we were blessed with a beautiful sunny day. we had a picnic and your daddy chased you and kinsley around and around. so fun for me to see.

your cousins came for your party...my little pony...your special request. boy, did you know it was your day. your smile made me smile.

we played a game, opened presents (puzzles, a butterfly garden, marble tower, cash register), had dinner and ate cake, with some march madness going on in the background.

today, you told me that i do not need to carry you anymore because you are a big girl. just like that, seemingly in the blink of an eye. today was so fun for me. i adored concentrating on you, admiring you, treasuring you. you are one precious child.

first love

2011-03-29T19:48:00.000-07:00

my heart beats a little faster, my tummy feels queasy and water wells up in my eyes when i reflect on moving away from the kinsley and mason friendship.

who could have guessed that a little boy and a little girl could grow up together and remain buddies despite his "all boy" and her "all girl" passions.

maybe it's because i adore his mom and we created playdates so that we could spend time together.

maybe it's because the dads have an awesome friendship and text more often than ben and i do.

or maybe, just maybe, it's because they have a rare bond that is all their own.

they were in diapers together. diapers.

mason has always been kinsley's protector.

we were in the mountains a few weeks ago and one morning ben walked in their room and witnessed kinsley standing on her tippy toes while mason hung down from the top bunk. they were sharing a good-morning kiss. it wasn't the first.

these pictures don't even scratch the surface of all the memories and fun they have had. what a complete joy it has been. we are totally teaching them to skype.

displaced

2011-03-24T19:10:00.000-07:00

in the last 7 days the girls and i have stayed in 4 different homes. we are waiting for our house to sell and i am a better mom when i do not have the stress of keeping the house spotless and staged. we have practically been living out of a suitcase and sometimes don't know what house we will be at each night.

the girls have been so amazing. probably because they have been with friends, cousins and grandparents and get to wake up with this view out the backdoor:

i have missed keeping up with the blog. i usually let pictures tell our story but my camera is super broken and had to be sent away for 8 weeks. 8 weeks. oh my, that is hard to grasp. please, lord, let it be ready by our disney trip. so, since pictures have been lacking so has my blogging.

however. my sweet little caroline is getting dedicated on sunday and i needed to get a picture of her for the occasion. i used another camera and filled the memory card up with this precious 6 month old beauty:

a new southern living subscriber

2011-02-24T08:57:00.000-08:00

february has been full. full of change, fun things, to-do lists, and now sicknesses(is there a sadder sound than a baby coughing?). before i get to the big news, which all who are reading this probably already know about, i need to share pics of the daddy daughter ball.

i tend to feel that if i don't get a chance to blog about something, it is as if it never happened. it was weeks ago, but still a sweet memory. ben came home with dresses for the girls that he picked out himself. they were thrilled. they all got fancied up and headed out for some food and dancing.

the fact that i am now blogging about this must mean it is really going to happen. drumroll...

we have a peace and excitement about this big move. thankfully, it hasn't been an emotional roller coaster......yet. i do envision a FLOOD of tears when the goodbyes begin. i can't even do justice in describing the bond i have with my friends. and their kids. deep breath. and my family. oh, it will be so, so hard. but, i can do it. for now, i choose to rest in the adventure piece and am buckling my seatbelt for the ride. i am sure there will be a stream of upcoming sentimental posts. we all should buckle our seatbelts for those.
and now for my all time favorite pic of my girls:

before it was below zero

2011-02-02T07:37:00.000-08:00

just a few days ago we were outside in the warm sunshine. we spent the day up at sarah's house but mostly in her backyard. fun fun times.

i am in love with this pic of ben and caroline.

sarah is due with their baby in may. apparently getting some early practice with an american girl doll.

my dad is always. always. always. taking pictures of his grandkids.

we topped off the day with face paint and a silly string war.

crafting

2011-01-31T15:33:00.000-08:00

goodbye little winter wreath. with the help of my pinecone collectors, you cost me 3 dollars to make.

hello there, valentine wreath. with the help of a wire hanger and old fabric scraps you are a free addition to our decor. better yet, the girl's bedroom is red and white so you can hang there year round.

Victory!

2011-01-22T19:40:00.000-08:00

the journey has been tough. extreme. for well over a year, little hallie has had major difficulty going potty. at times, she spent hours sobbing and clenched. we had tried everything and were one step away from seeing a specialist when we decided to give potty training one last go.

this last week, many days were spent like this:

and.....in less than a week--the kiddo is potty trained! the psychological barrier has broken and she is officially a "big girl". she picked out brand new panties and has had her eye on this little robot for around 6 months. after being successful with a potty reward system, she marched down those aisles in Target and brought it home. meet our new robot, alphie.

New Toys

2011-01-13T20:58:00.000-08:00

Kinsley Quotes

2011-01-10T08:19:00.000-08:00

after a visit to ben's grandma and grandpa...

as ben was beginning his workout...

after receiving allowance and a conversation about giving generously...

Christmas 2010

2011-01-02T15:31:00.000-08:00

We arrived home from Minnesota late last night after a 17 hour journey. We drove straight through and Ben was behind the wheel the whole time. Needless to say, that gave us ample time to reflect on our time there and bottle up all our fun memories. Great time with his parents. Great time with his brothers. Great time with cousins. And I had an especially great time with my sister-in-laws. It's always hard to say goodbye; especially when we have no idea when we will see them again. Sweet memories.

The snow was unbelievable. The kids played for hours and Gramps spent a serious amount of time perfecting a snow fort for them.

We went to this enormous play place two times. Look closely and you can see Ben, Hallie, Gramps and maybe a couple cousins at the top.

this pic is blurry but i did my best considering he was whipping them around at fast speeds.

christmas eve photo shoot

christmas morning...santa definitely showed up.

gramps had caroline duty. which i'm pretty sure he loved.

hallie has an uncanny resemblance to baby belle.

she also got a music player that she loves. i caught her just staring at it while listening to her favorite tunes.

there is no shortage of princesses in our home.

my love.

jake, alisha and june...the busiest baby girl i've ever known! we will miss her like crazy.

tommy, amber, adalyn and sawyer. the cousins were inseparable. sledding, swimming, and non-stop playing.

tommy with two of his ladies.

the only hiccup in our week was the sick bug that poisoned almost everyone at some point. hallie got hit hard and we found her sleeping all over. the babe took a 6 hour nap one day.

even buddy the elf came

2010-12-19T21:00:00.000-08:00

we are leaving for the l-o-n-g drive to minnesota this afternoon. oh my.

we celebrated a colorado christmas this weekend with my family and it was perfect.

lessons from the past have taught us to get kid pictures first thing before they trade their cute outfits for princess and superhero costumes.

i can't possibly describe how much i love this picture or how much fun these girls have together. best friends. the outfits weren't even planned.

do you think my mom got enough candy for the cousins to make yummy trains?

ready set go.

these kids find out if they are having a baby boy or girl today...can't wait!

you stink. you smell like beef and cheese! you don't smell like santa.

the fondu bar was especially fabulous.

we ended the day with a gift from mimi and papa to the kids. fun little car that has zoomed around in our house nonstop. so fun.

catchin up

2010-12-16T16:08:00.000-08:00

Along with everyone else, we have been mightily caught up in nonstop on. the. go. it has been great and there is never a dull moment. this picture captures why there has been quite an absence of updates. always someone on me. at least one little person. at least.

little caroline gets sweeter, happier, cuter everyday. did i mention happier because she continues the streak of being the happiest baby i have ever known.

my favorite christmas memory so far is kinsley's preschool program. it was unbearably adorable. i could hardly take pictures through my laughter and happy tears. dramatic hand motions and hearing my kids voice above all others was priceless. total sweetness.

when ben's parents were here for caroline's birth, somehow kinsley planted a seed in her grandma's head that she wanted a dorthy costume. guess what? a package arrived with the most perfect handmade replica one can imagine. it was stitched with love...and included a handmade dorthy wig. check out the wig. we laughed and laughed. and laughed. if you know grandma jane, you can probably guess it didn't end there. there was also a great kid-friendly version of the book and blue socks for the costume. cousin adalyn was SO GENEROUS to send one of her pink princess costumes for hallie so she could be glinda. it was all so amazing!

Christmas Cards

2010-11-17T14:51:00.000-08:00

we always look forward to mid-december when the christmas cards start pouring in. there are a handful of friends and family who we do not live near, so the annual card and photo is sometimes our only glimpse of them each year. after the holidays, i always cut out all the pictures and make a collage of all our special peeps. a fun way to keep them on our hearts all year long.

i have sent out christmas cards since we got married. in years past, i have had a ridiculous process of creating the cards. i am a sucker for a family update, so i always have made folded cards for the letter. i would glue on the photo, tie a ribbon, print out the letter, cut it out, glue it in. here are two examples from years past.

who are these kids? and where is that dog nowadays?

cut, paste, glue, tie. repeat 65 times.

i am sooo excited i have finally found a way to send out our card without all the drama. shutterfly has an unbelievable collection of holiday cards that i am so excited about. i have been a faithful customer for years and have purchased everything from pictures to photo books. after i saw their christmas cards the decision to do away with my tedious christmas card assemble line was easy.
i was sold when i saw they have the option to include a letter inside. they even have a collection that already has it formatted in letter style. adorable and easy.

the holiday story cards are so perfect! they definitely take out the daunting nature of writing out a lengthy family letter. love them!

another tradition i love is hanging picture ornaments each year on our tree. we have come a long way since the ONE ornament hanging on the tree in the above picture. the tree now tells a story. this is yet something else i make entirely more difficult than necessary. after hunting for a perfect ornament, i have to get creative with finding a picture that will fit and sizing it just right. i just found out that shutterfly has the perfect solution. i can now easily upload my picture into the frame. click and done.

yea for the christmas season! thanks, shutterfly!

Love her

2010-11-14T16:40:00.000-08:00

love her sleepy little face.

love her bum pointed high.

love her blue eyes and the way her mouth curves.

love her little baby self and tiny everything.

love her baby noises and the way she mimics the sounds i make.

love her smile and the way she looks at me like i'm a crazy person when i try to capture it on the camera.

Halloween Recap

2010-11-01T18:11:00.000-07:00

no need for captions. just plain and simple halloween cuteness.

this is the only picture that needs explanation. since i did not have a costume for caroline, they took it upon themselves to decorate their sister.

Pumpkin/Picture Pickin'

2010-10-24T17:28:00.000-07:00

as i was perusing through the dozens of pictures i took at the pumpkin patch, i decided that picking a pumpkin and picking my favorite pictures are very similar experiences. very few are flawless. only several are worthy of displaying. most have imperfections...but it is those imperfections that give character that causes you to treasure them the most.

here are the picture picks from the patch:

this is ben's first picture with his 3 girls. love it!

after i took this pic, i noticed the missing sock. that kicked off ben's quest to retrace his steps through the field for the next 10 minutes. mission accomplished and the sock was found.

and these just make me smile. the potato head pumpkin was so fun to do and the girls are constantly switching around the body parts. true to form, kinsley picked out the princess set while hallie insisted on the monster.

and now for the littlest pumpkin of all. can't imagine life without her.

never want to forget these tiny fingers.

3 little ladies

2010-10-11T17:14:00.000-07:00

kinsley and caroline:
when we arrived home from the hospital, kinsley went through a short lived phase of declaring she didn't want to grow up and was talking in a baby voice. obviously, she was needing some extra attention and assumed you needed to be a baby to get some. thankfully, that was very short lived and she has been nothing but amazing to caroline. she is incredibly nurturing and is constantly kissing and snuggling her new sister.

she has said she would rather, "sit and guard caroline" than play.

today, her preschool teacher asked me to confirm caroline's name--apparently kinsley passed on that her name is rainbow.

hallie and caroline:
one of my favorite memories is hallie running into the hospital room asking if cawawine has been born. she sat on the bed with me looking her over, listing all her body parts: "tiny feet, tiny eyes, tiny forehead, tiny nose." i wish i could type out a recording of the tiny voice hallie was using. i love love her little voice.

our first day home we were pretty busy and distracted. the doorbell rang. ben UNLOCKED the front door only to find little hallie standing there. hummm...not off to a good start with tracking the whereabouts of 3 kids.

caroline: oh, so sweet.

Caroline's Story

2010-09-28T14:00:00.000-07:00

Her story began with my water breaking at 2am with no notice. I knew immediately what happened and it felt very surreal to know that things were getting started even though I was not having contractions. I woke ben and he quickly got up and began getting things ready to leave.

He called my parents. Before my dad answered the phone my mom was already getting up and dressed. She was here in less than 30 minutes and we were off to the hospital.

I was totally calm and peaceful at this time. Contractions were light. When we got to the hospital we registered and I was still able to sign paperwork and wait patiently to walk down to labor and delivery.

It was bizarre to walk into the labor and delivery room. The baby station was prepared with all the blankets. The doctor stand was at the foot of the bed covered with a blanket. Over the course of the night/day, I made a point to never look under the blanket. I did not want to see the tools that would be needed later in the morning.

At 4:40 am contractions were still inconsistent and we began walking laps around the halls. My mood was positive and we were having short conversations.

6am: Still walking and my contractions were getting stronger. I vividly remember stopping in the hall during a contraction and watching a woman being wheel chaired in for a scheduled induction. She was wearing an adorable black dress, full makeup, and I remember focusing on her jewelry and watch. She was going to have a very different labor experience. Morning was fast approaching and we decided to stay in our room from that point forward.

At this time I began getting fearful and nervous. The pain was already difficult to handle but I knew it would only get worse. I just wanted to fast forward.

7am: I was very emotional and crying. I could not even articulate why there were tears. It may have been the pain, the anxiety or the exhaustion.

8am: I was frustrated that it was taking so long. It was exhausting to walk but we knew that was the only way to speed the process. Contractions were intense but I was still able to focus, breath and work through them. It was an incredible amount of work to simply walk across the room. Sitting and resting for even a couple minutes was helpful.

10am: I got checked and was only 3.5 cm. Ben could see the defeat in my eyes as they began to well with tears. He was so encouraging and reminded me that my body has always responded in this way. I progress super slowly but things change very fast. He helped me out of bed and we began walking again. In no time, contractions picked up. The pain was unbearable. This lasted for the next 2.5 hours. Ben was amazing. When I walked, he walked. When I was discouraged, he said all the right things. He rubbed my back, massaged my neck and guided me along when I didn’t have the strength.

Around noon, I started getting the urge to push. Ben would get eye level with me and tell me it is not time. I remember the nurse was in the room and she overheard me try to push. I heard her tell another nurse that I am close, to call the doctor and that she needs to stay in the room with me. They hooked me to a monitor to check the baby and I was in bed for the rest of the delivery.

My doctor arrived and she had a calm presence. The next 45 minutes amounted to indescribable pain. I clutched the bed rail with one hand and ben’s hand with the other. We were forehead to forehead and he would feed me water, wipe my forehead and help me breathe. I kept begging him to help me. I can only imagine how helpless he must have felt. I saw the doctor put on her garb and knew it was close but yet I truly didn’t think I could do it. I remember my phone started ringing and I got so upset that someone could be calling me. A med student also happily entered the room announcing that a baby girl was just delivered in room 3. I still cannot believe she thought that would be an appropriate comment for someone in my state to hear. The pain was continuous and soon it was time to focus and push. Everyone was telling me what to do but I couldn’t comprehend anything. “Hold your legs, raise your neck, hold your breath, count to 10, trust your body, PUSH.” Those phrases were given over and over and over until....

12:43pm: sweet baby caroline elizabeth was in my arms.
instant love.

things i think i think

2010-09-15T13:15:00.000-07:00

I love being pregnant. I really do. I even love my pregnant body and have been trying to capture it in my memory since it will likely be my last pregnancy.
BUT
I am excited to regain some mobility and move around at a normal pace. Shopping at regular stores for regular sizes will also be welcomed.

Sweet baby’s carseat is buckled in and ready to go. The girls have even been keeping a baby doll in it the past week. I think we are ready for our new precious cargo.
BUT
Kinsley has moved to the back of the van and she feels far away. I can’t reach back and grab her hand or squeeze her little knee.

Kinsley loves preschool and it will be great having that time to care for only two little ones.
BUT
I love my alone time with Hallie and she loves that time with me. Will I be able to give her the attention and love she needs while I am focused on an infant? With the other girls, it was easy to hold them all day long. I love the infant stage and love snuggling. Will I feel at peace having to use the baby swing more than I have had to in the past?

I am ready to deliver this baby with no medication. Naturally, with no intervention. I have had such positive birth stories and am again prepared to go through the most intense thing ben and I have experienced together.
BUT
It is the hardest thing I have ever done and I am overwhelmed at what lies ahead.

I love feeling this baby move and feel so connected to her. I watch my tummy shift, feel her in my ribs and messing with my hip bone. We will never be this close again.
BUT
I have spent hours daydreaming of the second I get to finally see her face and hold her. Finally being able to put tiny features to the kicks and jabs I’ve had for so long. This trumps everything.

4 weeks left to nest

2010-08-24T19:45:00.000-07:00

The first phase of our kitchen re-do is complete and it will take a miracle if Ben still has phase two in him. however, he has definitely earned some saturdays without plowing through my to-do-build-paint list.
What he's been up to...before and after pics:

What they've been up to: cornstarch clay. i was impressed with how fun and easy this was to make.
1 cup cornstarch
1 1/3 cups cold water
2 cups salt
mix 2/3 cup water with salt and boil. in another bowl, mix cornstarch with 2/3 water and stir. turn off heat. stir in cornstarch mixture with salt mixture. stir until a thick dough forms then set on a cutting board to cool.

What i've been up to: mostly just growing a little baby.

but also loving the time with my two girlies. doesn't get better than snuggling in bed.

preschooler or mini-teen?

2010-08-16T12:31:00.000-07:00

today was day one of preschool. after some tearful reservations about the program due to a bland orientation night, thankfully, my fears that she would have 3 hours of playing with mr. potato head were put at ease.

on the drive to preschool...blessed 4 minute drive...she melted my heart by telling me she was going to "miss me like crazy."

after picking her up and while we were walking to the car, my little love bug said, "i didn't miss you at all, mommy." the feeling was not mutual.

Work Zone

2010-08-09T15:37:00.000-07:00

third time around, nesting is bringing out some seemingly irrational behaviors. i call it extreme nesting. rather than simply cleaning and organizing i am taking it to new heights. thankfully, ben is also in a nesting phase because his handyman skills have been put to use. every night after work. bless him.

it all started with a wall. we have never had a rail or anything in between our kitchen and the room below. when they were babies, both my girls have crawled off the edge and i almost lost my mother-in-law during dinner one night. we finally decided to safeguard our third-born by building a wall. one thing has led to another and a full kitchen renovation is underway.

the wall is now complete and many many other projects are in process.

ben's project: before and after.

my project: my little work station got a makeover. first, i sewed a curtain to hide all my things. for years, i've had my eye on a run-down oak chair in my parents storage room. after some sanding and painting, it fits in quite nicely.

the ladies project: scratch & sniff paint. the girls picked out some koolaid packets and mixed each with 2 tablespoons of water. it made awesome paint and the house smelled delicious.

our other projects are either in progress or soon to begin. to be continued.

Black Hills Favorites

2010-07-27T15:35:00.000-07:00

The best things about our trip to the Black Hills:

Spending time with these people:

It was great watching Kinsley disappear with these two kids for some much needed cousin bonding.

Loved getting to know cousin June! She was a superstar keeping up with the older kids and, though over a year apart, referred to Hallie as the baby. I see a lifelong friendship in the making.

I didn't expect a drive-through tourist attraction to be my favorite memory. Bears crossing in front of the car with my own little cubs to enjoy it with. Hearing Kinsley gab about the bears in the tree was a memory that still makes me smiley. It is so much fun watching my kids have so much fun!

Hallie developed a tight bond with her grandma jane. She ALWAYS had time to snuggle, empathize with any of Hallie's troubles or go exploring outside.

I failed to get a picture of what Ben spent hours upon hours doing outside: cornhole and canjam with his brothers. His happiness.

Final Crib Days

2010-07-21T07:00:00.001-07:00

As we prepare to move Hallie into a big girl bed, I have been snapping some sleepy pics of her in the crib. One day a princess, another day sleeping with a gun and another a bare bum. Above all that, I just love her blankie pillow.

Happy Independence Day!

2010-07-04T06:18:00.000-07:00

THE STORIES BEHIND THE PICTURES:

Candy was promised to the girls if I could get a picture of them together. I love this one for so many reasons. The dresses, the way Kinsley put her arm around Hallie with no direction, even the grumpy scowl on Hallie's face.

We went to the Monument parade with cousins, grandparents and friends. As usual, Mason and Kinsley shared conversations and secrets only they are privy to.

While the kids waved flags and collected obscene amounts of candy, the fellows hung back. It only took 3 takes for me to get this shot without my sister jumping in the background or one of the boys giving a cheesy thumbs up.

Cousin Makena being her normal photogenic self. The girl takes professional direction like a champ. I am not used to a child who will effortlessly move her candy bag behind her when I tell her it needs to go for the sake of the picture.

I just love this picture. Ben has a game he constantly plays with Hallie which brilliantly gets him loads of love. He insists that she does not give him any kisses, and voila, she attacks.

My sisters. It is safe to say that it was easier to get a picture of the kids. This one made the cut simply because I didn't have the patience to analyze the 20 shots my dad successively took. He then made us take individual pictures standing by trees we each planted when we were little.

My bestie. Kinsley and I have a super close connection. We really just love being together. I still rub my eyes in disbelief when she independently gets herself a glass of water or sings along to the Glee soundtrack. Or the way she wants to be held close--when she is upset for making a bad choice--even when she is upset with me--she wants me to hold her tight.

My little bug. Hallie has the most extreme expressions. On one hand, she physically shakes when excited but she can also shoot daggers with her eyes when frustrated. She is pretty cute either way. I am most amazed at her chattiness. Our days are filled with a constant play by play of what she sees and thinks.

My baby. I am now 29 weeks and feeling great. I'll go out on a limb and say this little one is the most active of them all. She never stops moving, turning, kicking. We keep her ultrasound picture on the fridge and I stare at her often looking at her precious little form. I am desperate to meet her.

Into the Woods

2010-06-29T05:54:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we braved the outdoors with my whole family. Lots of adults, five kids and five dogs made for a fun camping adventure. The cousins played nonstop and looked like little neanderthals by the end of the trip. I am so thankful for their little friendships. Here is a picture walk of some of the ways they stayed busy, although digging in the dirt and collecting sticks was the main form of entertainment.

In hindsight, there are some pictures I wish I had captured. My dirty feet, my 7 month pregnant belly, the way we had to fit like a jigsaw puzzle in order to fit in our tent together, me sleeping side by side next to hallie and snuggling her all night long. Happiness.

Thanks

2010-06-21T07:44:00.000-07:00

On Father's Day, we went hiking with my parents and sister Sarah. It was not until we got home that I scrolled through my pictures and noticed a theme. Ben is a pretty great dad. And husband.

Although I was carrying equal extra weight in the form of our unborn baby, he still got bonus points for strapping on Hallie.

He also kept his girls laughing along the way by hiding around trees and surprising us.

At the top of the hike, there is a fire lookout in which you can see the entire front range. However, one must climb 143 stairs STRAIGHT UP to get the view. In one of our poorer parenting decisions, we went for it. About 25 stairs up, Kinsley began sobbing. She still wanted to go up but was not willing to walk. I could not carry her due to my belly, but mostly due to my own need to hold on to both railings. Our family of four was somewhat paralyzed. Ben was already carrying Hallie, and without a word he scooped up Kinsley and continued up.

Then we got to the top where I had a mild panic attack. There was no way I could even look over the edge to enjoy the view...I hear it was spectacular. I was perched on a rock holding onto Hallie for dear life. Ben knew he couldn't carry both girls down at the same time so he brought them down one by one.

Then he came back up for me.

Thanks does not scratch the surface.

Dancing With the Stars

2010-06-11T06:50:00.000-07:00

The girls don't know how good they have it. They have a dad that loves to sing and play his guitar for them.

Unfortunately, they have a mom with a camera that is her best friend and is known for killing the moment when they spot it.

Oblivious of camera:

Aware of camera with a request to look at themselves after each and every shot:

Dancing is a big part of each and every day at our place. They love to show us their "moves" which include lots of booty shaking, twirls, leaps, and an impressive pirouette here and there.

Swimsuit Edition

2010-06-06T12:46:00.000-07:00

The girls have spent the last three days in their swimsuits and I do not see that changing until September. I better get used to greasy sunscreen hair, fishing out each and every flea that falls in their pool and a huge water bill.

Memorial Day

2010-06-01T13:19:00.000-07:00

In Kinsley's four years, other than minor colds, she has never been sick. Not a fever or even throwing up. We felt like rookie parents when, out of the blue, she spiked a 102.5 degree temperature. Ben insisted on sleeping on her floor to check on her throughout the night.

Thankfully, by morning she was better and our Memorial Day plans carried on. We were greeted at the park by family and two tables of food.

The Hughes Family Plus Eight:

Hallie and Ford are now playing and leading one another around. Trouble.

Kinsley had a great day running with Makena, pretend playing with Makena and fighting with Makena. They are like sisters. My little blondie.

There are no words to adequately express how thrilled Ben was when he watched Hallie play t-ball. She is seemingly a natural. Hello little curls.

I also think Baby Number Three has a name. It is pretty stinkin sweet!

Princess and Knight Party

2010-05-16T17:27:00.000-07:00

Two birthdays in April means a princess party built for two. To be specific, these two precious little people.

Someone turned FOUR...sniff...sniff.

And someone else turned TWO...sniff...sniff.

Here are some of the highlights:
Of course, the yummy food.

Games such as musical magic carpets, face painting and treasure hunting.

Kinsley had a cake adorned with princesses. So did Hallie, but with some additional cars and trucks.

Our tiny guests:

Happy Birthday to my little princesses!!

Little Mia Hamm

2010-04-23T09:53:00.000-07:00

When I signed Kinsley up for soccer, I was quite sceptical that she would like something that does not involve princesses or dancing. We have been taken aback at how much she loves and looks forward to it. It is the most adorable and comical thing in the world. Although she runs with the pack, she has zero interest in the ball. The girl is there for the people. She charms the spectators with her waves and smiles as she sprints past the sidelines.

Even from across the field, she waves to her fans.

Two!

2010-04-05T12:43:00.001-07:00

In honor of Hallie's birthday, here are TWO examples of some of her favorite things:

Fav Books:
Big Red Barn
Brown Bear
(she has both of these memorized and recites the words with us as we read)

Fav Songs:
Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Lord, I Lift Your Name On High (her hand motions are precious to watch)

Fav Toys:
scooter
legos

Fav Shoes:
rainboots
purple sandles

Fav Past times:
Counting while she jumps
Scooting her head along the floor on top of blankie

Kinsley was the best on Hallie's special day. She never complained about not being in the spotlight and must have sung her Happy Birthday a couple dozen times.

We've only had this wagon a couple days, and I already highly recommend it!

Topped off the day at Red Robin with Mimi and Papa. They gave her a pink scooter that she rode around the restaurant and hasn't put down since.

5 Posts Rolled Into One

2010-03-29T13:53:00.000-07:00

I will be playing some catch up today. This is mostly a picture journey of our last couple weeks.

We had lots of cold days which meant lots of cabin fever. And lots of crafts.

Kinsley turned this house into a pavilion with all the butterflies she created.
Step One: color the coffee filter. very seriously.

Step Two: paint it with water.

Step Three: hang and enjoy.

Sledding in Frisco:

Zoo with friends:

Yes, Kari was herding all 4 of these kiddos while I only had to tend to Hallie.

Easter Eggs: If you have not already noticed, please take note of Hallie's "big" smile. She loves to whip it out in nearly every picture. She can't help herself.

baby news!

2010-03-10T11:59:00.000-08:00

March 22: anniversary
April 2: Hallie birthday
April 22: Kinsley birthday
June 2: Amy birthday
September 22: Baby #3 due date!!!

We also celebrate Ben's birthday, but it does not fit the pattern. It is sometime in May.

Here are a few of the cute things Kinsley has said about the baby over the last several weeks:

"Is the baby wearing a diaper?"

"Can the baby hear me now?" "Did the baby hear me say that?"

"Can we name the baby Prince Eric?"

"Does the baby have teeth?"

She told her Sunday school teacher that her baby brother is in my tummy...we do not know the gender yet, but she is insistent that this baby will be a boy.

She is also noticing every pregnant lady we come across and loudly exclaims, "look mom, there is a baby in that lady's tummy!" She has been correct all but one time. :(

2010-02-26T08:56:00.000-08:00

Hallie. The most passionate, dramatic, hilarious person ever. Independent beyond imagination does not scratch the surface of how much this little one desires to do EVERYTHING all by herself. Terror ensues when I try to, heaven forbid, dress her or lift her into her car seat. However, she has a spunk and personality that keeps us laughing and forever entertained.

And the way she smiles. Crooked and wonderful.

Oh, the after-the-bathtime curls. Melt my heart little curly locks. This is Hal's happy face.

Mad Hal

Surprised Hal.

My Valentines

2010-02-13T07:17:00.000-08:00

I saw this idea online and was excited to give it a try. I sewed a ziplock bag over some tag board to create a candy maze for Kinsley's preschool friends.

It was our second year of getting the girls special books for Valentine's Day. Inside the cover, we each wrote them a love note. One of my favorite traditions.

Kinsley's Weekend Update

2010-02-09T14:45:00.000-08:00

It was one of those weekends that Ben questions my scheduling ability due to over-booking. We were on the go the whole time and it was loaded with sweet memories. Here are a couple highlights:

Daddy Daughter Ball: This is the real deal...there were 1200 daddies and daughters with girls ranging from infants to teens. What fun Ben had making Kinsley feel like a princess! He even got a bonus date by taking cousin Makena because Uncle Joe was out of town. The girls danced and danced and Ben humored me by taking some video so I could get a small picture of the night. Hallie stayed behind with me but based on her outcries when they departed, next year he will have another girly to take along.

Disney Live: Although Kinsley thought we were going to Disneyland, she was still pretty smitten by this show even when she realized that a "Disney" show does not necessarily mean it is in Disneyland itself! Kinsley and I went with Makena, Gabe and Mimi.

Among other things, there was also a sleepover and a superbowl party which all undeniably led to Kinsley's classic car sleep-position.

It Will Also Be Dinner

2010-01-27T13:50:00.000-08:00

Who would have guessed that ten pounds of rice would be the answer to hours of imaginative playtime? Drawing inspiration from my sister, I blocked out the fact that our home needs to be show ready at all times and dumped a bag of rice into plastic bins for the girls. Measuring cups, spoons, and little animals are all we needed. It was messy and totally worth it!

K-i-S-E-n-l-y

2010-01-19T12:05:00.000-08:00

Today was Wacky Day at preschool and Kinsley was totally into it! Other than adding an extra bow to her hair and mixing up the leg warmers (my socks with the bottoms cut off)she pretty much resembles what she looks like everyday.

She also loves writing her letters. I love to sit with her and guide(control) the letter formation, letter order, pencil grip, letter height and width. However, when I discovered this on the easel completed all by herself, I have never seen anything more beautiful or precious. I pray her s's always look like this!!!

Confession

2010-01-06T12:24:00.000-08:00

Kinsley told me this morning that after we tuck her in bed she turns on the light and plays. I would never have guessed. If her hand wasn't visible, I would have been mildly concerned of her whereabouts.

Christmas 2009!

2009-12-28T19:41:00.000-08:00

Christmas Eve:
After we went to our church service, we had fun opening up presents from our Minnesota family. The gasps and chatter that came from both girls as they opened the gifts made it clear that their grandparents, aunts and uncles know them well. Here is Kinsley opening Fancy Nancy, our favorite book character and a fashionista whom Kinsley has been modeling herself after for months. At least a dozen outfit changes a day, thanks Nancy.

Hallie did not disappoint with her wide eyes and excited trembling with each rip of the wrapping paper.

Here is the introduction to her own baby doll. She sleeps with her, takes her in the car and makes it crystal clear that it is "Hawies baby".

Christmas morning:
I can't possibly express how much fun it was to share this time with my kids. The joy, giggles and anticipation made for memories I never want to forget. We stayed overnight at my parents house and with the added attention from them and Sarah and Lane, the girls were in the Christmas spotlight.
Here is Kinsley opening a gift from Santa....

One would assume that Santa would have read customer reviews on this princess castle, but he must have dropped the ball. Kinsley was extremely understanding today when I explained that the elves made a mistake and sent a broken castle. I lost track of how many times Ben had to reattach pieces after the thing toppled over with the slightest touch. This little piece of junk has already been returned and Santa will be sending a new and improved Castle from an entirely different workshop in a couple weeks.

If you know Hallie, you know she is a little jock. As Ben was purchasing the hoop, the salesperson asked how old his son is. It currently resides in our living room in front of the fireplace that is just begging to be shattered.

Christmas day:
Sweet, sweet girls. They are the best of friends..........

until the cousins arrive...then Kinsley disappears with Makena and Hal hangs with us.

Which is fine with me, considering she is the sweetest thing in the world. Have you ever seen a cuter face despite the fact that the right eye almost completely disappears when she smiles?

This picture captures the best part of the day. Me on the floor with my babes, soaking up every second of their youngest years. Just. Having. Fun.

An Elf and a Pickle

2009-12-18T17:43:00.000-08:00

Let me introduce you to Scooter, our very own Elf. This has been a funny tradition we began this year that I would highly recommend. Scooter is an Elf on the Shelf and he came with an adorable picture book to explain his mission to the girls. In short, every night he flies to the North Pole to report to Santa how the little ladies are behaving. He finds a spot to watch them throughout the day. Each morning, Kinsley wakes up and hunts for the little guy. Here are some of the places he has turned up.

Here is our Christmas pickle. I am unsure of its purpose or history but in the spirit of having a dozen Christmas traditions, we are going with it. Ben hides the little pickle somewhere on the tree each night and Kinsley promptly searches for it once Scooter has been found. She can barely keep up with all the demands of her morning routine.

Their Resemblance is Uncanny (Minus Hallie)

2009-12-02T18:42:00.001-08:00

Thanksgiving in Minnesota:
TAKE ONE:

TAKE TWO:

TAKE THREE (in sweaters hand knit by Ben's mom):

TAKE FOUR:

This pic is just for Uncle Tommy who worked unbelievably hard to win Hallie's heart!

I Don't Take the View From Indoors For Granted

2009-11-15T13:22:00.001-08:00

We are in the midst of another big snowstorm to hit Colorado. Here are some pics from the first storm which trapped us in the home for 3 days. The laughter coming from Kinsley as she played with Ben was totally worth the 45 minutes it took to get the girls in their gear. Over and over again.

Ben dug trenches throughout the yard for a game of chase. Refusing to be caught, it sometimes led him into the playhouse and out the window.

2009-11-02T11:40:00.000-08:00

Here are two little princesses before a couple days full of Halloween fun.

Kinsley's buddies joined us for Trick-Or-Treat Street in our town which was bursting with kids in costumes. This was on the tail end of being stuck inside for 3 days due to massive amounts of snow so I think everyone loved an excuse to get outside. We lured our kids about 5 blocks out of the way to check out a new store where I will be spending lots of time in the future.

Kinsley was thrilled to learn she could wear her princess heels to our church Fall Festival. All other Halloween events were done in snow boots which made for a sad princess.

I'm not sure where she learned it, but Hallie's go-to pose was squatting with her hands on her knees. Work it.

It wouldn't be right not to include the traditional Kinsley/Mason picture. Lovers.

Two tired princesses.

This is what I want to remember....a bit blury but super sweet.

Photo Memory

2009-10-14T11:32:00.000-07:00

Memory is our favorite game to play with Kinsley. Even though Ben and I show no mercy, Kinsley is victorious most of the time. She is blessed/cursed with her daddy's memory.

He remembers things like lyrics of commercial jingles from the 80's and detailed information from parenting books.

I, on the other hand, have the gift of watching a movie Ben SWEARS I have seen before with absolutely no recollection of it whatsoever.

I have finished making a family photo memory game that I plan to give the girls for Christmas. I used photos of our family and included all aunties, uncles, grandparents and cousins. The main materials are bathroom tiles and lots of Mod Podge.

I also made a fun little storage container.