things i think i think

I love being pregnant. I really do. I even love my pregnant body and have been trying to capture it in my memory since it will likely be my last pregnancy.
BUT
I am excited to regain some mobility and move around at a normal pace. Shopping at regular stores for regular sizes will also be welcomed.

Sweet baby’s carseat is buckled in and ready to go. The girls have even been keeping a baby doll in it the past week. I think we are ready for our new precious cargo.
BUT
Kinsley has moved to the back of the van and she feels far away. I can’t reach back and grab her hand or squeeze her little knee.

Kinsley loves preschool and it will be great having that time to care for only two little ones.
BUT
I love my alone time with Hallie and she loves that time with me. Will I be able to give her the attention and love she needs while I am focused on an infant? With the other girls, it was easy to hold them all day long. I love the infant stage and love snuggling. Will I feel at peace having to use the baby swing more than I have had to in the past?

I am ready to deliver this baby with no medication. Naturally, with no intervention. I have had such positive birth stories and am again prepared to go through the most intense thing ben and I have experienced together.
BUT
It is the hardest thing I have ever done and I am overwhelmed at what lies ahead.

I love feeling this baby move and feel so connected to her. I watch my tummy shift, feel her in my ribs and messing with my hip bone. We will never be this close again.
BUT
I have spent hours daydreaming of the second I get to finally see her face and hold her. Finally being able to put tiny features to the kicks and jabs I’ve had for so long. This trumps everything.