things i think i think

I love being pregnant. I really do. I even love my pregnant body and have been trying to capture it in my memory since it will likely be my last pregnancy.
BUT
I am excited to regain some mobility and move around at a normal pace. Shopping at regular stores for regular sizes will also be welcomed.

Sweet baby’s carseat is buckled in and ready to go. The girls have even been keeping a baby doll in it the past week. I think we are ready for our new precious cargo.
BUT
Kinsley has moved to the back of the van and she feels far away. I can’t reach back and grab her hand or squeeze her little knee.

Kinsley loves preschool and it will be great having that time to care for only two little ones.
BUT
I love my alone time with Hallie and she loves that time with me. Will I be able to give her the attention and love she needs while I am focused on an infant? With the other girls, it was easy to hold them all day long. I love the infant stage and love snuggling. Will I feel at peace having to use the baby swing more than I have had to in the past?

I am ready to deliver this baby with no medication. Naturally, with no intervention. I have had such positive birth stories and am again prepared to go through the most intense thing ben and I have experienced together.
BUT
It is the hardest thing I have ever done and I am overwhelmed at what lies ahead.

I love feeling this baby move and feel so connected to her. I watch my tummy shift, feel her in my ribs and messing with my hip bone. We will never be this close again.
BUT
I have spent hours daydreaming of the second I get to finally see her face and hold her. Finally being able to put tiny features to the kicks and jabs I’ve had for so long. This trumps everything.

4 weeks left to nest

The first phase of our kitchen re-do is complete and it will take a miracle if Ben still has phase two in him. however, he has definitely earned some saturdays without plowing through my to-do-build-paint list.
What he's been up to...before and after pics:



What they've been up to: cornstarch clay. i was impressed with how fun and easy this was to make.
1 cup cornstarch
1 1/3 cups cold water
2 cups salt
mix 2/3 cup water with salt and boil. in another bowl, mix cornstarch with 2/3 water and stir. turn off heat. stir in cornstarch mixture with salt mixture. stir until a thick dough forms then set on a cutting board to cool.




What i've been up to: mostly just growing a little baby.

but also loving the time with my two girlies. doesn't get better than snuggling in bed.

preschooler or mini-teen?

today was day one of preschool. after some tearful reservations about the program due to a bland orientation night, thankfully, my fears that she would have 3 hours of playing with mr. potato head were put at ease.





on the drive to preschool...blessed 4 minute drive...she melted my heart by telling me she was going to "miss me like crazy."

after picking her up and while we were walking to the car, my little love bug said, "i didn't miss you at all, mommy." the feeling was not mutual.

Work Zone

third time around, nesting is bringing out some seemingly irrational behaviors. i call it extreme nesting. rather than simply cleaning and organizing i am taking it to new heights. thankfully, ben is also in a nesting phase because his handyman skills have been put to use. every night after work. bless him.

it all started with a wall. we have never had a rail or anything in between our kitchen and the room below. when they were babies, both my girls have crawled off the edge and i almost lost my mother-in-law during dinner one night. we finally decided to safeguard our third-born by building a wall. one thing has led to another and a full kitchen renovation is underway.

the wall is now complete and many many other projects are in process.

ben's project: before and after.




my project: my little work station got a makeover. first, i sewed a curtain to hide all my things. for years, i've had my eye on a run-down oak chair in my parents storage room. after some sanding and painting, it fits in quite nicely.



the ladies project: scratch & sniff paint. the girls picked out some koolaid packets and mixed each with 2 tablespoons of water. it made awesome paint and the house smelled delicious.




our other projects are either in progress or soon to begin. to be continued.

Black Hills Favorites

The best things about our trip to the Black Hills:

Spending time with these people:




It was great watching Kinsley disappear with these two kids for some much needed cousin bonding.


Loved getting to know cousin June! She was a superstar keeping up with the older kids and, though over a year apart, referred to Hallie as the baby. I see a lifelong friendship in the making.


I didn't expect a drive-through tourist attraction to be my favorite memory. Bears crossing in front of the car with my own little cubs to enjoy it with. Hearing Kinsley gab about the bears in the tree was a memory that still makes me smiley. It is so much fun watching my kids have so much fun!


Hallie developed a tight bond with her grandma jane. She ALWAYS had time to snuggle, empathize with any of Hallie's troubles or go exploring outside.


I failed to get a picture of what Ben spent hours upon hours doing outside: cornhole and canjam with his brothers. His happiness.

Final Crib Days

As we prepare to move Hallie into a big girl bed, I have been snapping some sleepy pics of her in the crib. One day a princess, another day sleeping with a gun and another a bare bum. Above all that, I just love her blankie pillow.

Happy Independence Day!

THE STORIES BEHIND THE PICTURES:

Candy was promised to the girls if I could get a picture of them together. I love this one for so many reasons. The dresses, the way Kinsley put her arm around Hallie with no direction, even the grumpy scowl on Hallie's face.


We went to the Monument parade with cousins, grandparents and friends. As usual, Mason and Kinsley shared conversations and secrets only they are privy to.


While the kids waved flags and collected obscene amounts of candy, the fellows hung back. It only took 3 takes for me to get this shot without my sister jumping in the background or one of the boys giving a cheesy thumbs up.


Cousin Makena being her normal photogenic self. The girl takes professional direction like a champ. I am not used to a child who will effortlessly move her candy bag behind her when I tell her it needs to go for the sake of the picture.


I just love this picture. Ben has a game he constantly plays with Hallie which brilliantly gets him loads of love. He insists that she does not give him any kisses, and voila, she attacks.


My sisters. It is safe to say that it was easier to get a picture of the kids. This one made the cut simply because I didn't have the patience to analyze the 20 shots my dad successively took. He then made us take individual pictures standing by trees we each planted when we were little.


My bestie. Kinsley and I have a super close connection. We really just love being together. I still rub my eyes in disbelief when she independently gets herself a glass of water or sings along to the Glee soundtrack. Or the way she wants to be held close--when she is upset for making a bad choice--even when she is upset with me--she wants me to hold her tight.


My little bug. Hallie has the most extreme expressions. On one hand, she physically shakes when excited but she can also shoot daggers with her eyes when frustrated. She is pretty cute either way. I am most amazed at her chattiness. Our days are filled with a constant play by play of what she sees and thinks.


My baby. I am now 29 weeks and feeling great. I'll go out on a limb and say this little one is the most active of them all. She never stops moving, turning, kicking. We keep her ultrasound picture on the fridge and I stare at her often looking at her precious little form. I am desperate to meet her.